If You Build It, They Will Come
I moved to Boston, MA, from Philadelphia, PA, in my late teens, a couple of years after officially coming out as a part of the LGBTQ+ community. In my three years in Boston, I learned what being a part of a community meant. That community was made up of strong, extraordinary women who I could lean on for the mundane to the life-altering and everything in between. Those three short years in Boston contributed profoundly to the person I am today, the friends I have, and the communities I helped to build.
While in Boston, feeling alone and homesick, I did what I always do: organize. Boston had a thriving women’s sports community, and I wanted to be a part of that. So, I decided to start a women’s softball team and then a women’s flag football team — making friends who’ve lasted a lifetime. It was because of some of those fearless friends that I got to experience a transformative monthly women’s dance party: Kristen Porter’s Dyke Night. This dance party was formative in many young queer people’s lives, including mine. Before Boston, I did not dance. I didn't think I could dance, and I didn't even know “how” to dance. I was embarrassed to express myself in that way and mortified anytime I tried. But this dance party — and the community they drew — was a safe space for me and many others to express ourselves. It is hard to overstate how much these parties meant to me and how much I grew because of them.
Once I returned to Philadelphia, I yearned for that community of women — and that safe space of expression. I wanted to build the thing that I had left. Thus, I started G-Room, a monthly dance party whose tagline was: Where the Queer Girls Go With The Gay Boys They Know.
I am biased, of course, but G-Room was like nothing else in Philadelphia at the time (or since, really). To my knowledge, it was the first time an LGBTQ dance party intentionally created a space for the entire community, not just one or the others. G-Room was unique in that we moved locations monthly to keep the party fresh, and each month, we invited a new DJ to spin and include artists and other entertainment (think fire-eating). We also donated 10% of the door to a different non-profit each month. It was a lot of work, but it paid off in many ways. The community we built still reverberates in the hearts and minds of those who got to experience it almost twenty-five years later.
G-Room only lasted two years — and as I got older, pursued a career and multiple degrees, got married, and had a kid, the community changed, the world changed, and the Gayborhood in Philly was no more. That community feel that I desperately sought to create was gone.
Then, earlier this year, my sister started Watch Party PHL, a women’s sports watch party event. When she first considered starting it, she asked me if I thought anyone would come. I told her, "build it, and they will come, or they won’t, but you will never know until you try!” Oh, and come they have. In the last eight months, she has put on 25 watch party events averaging around 150 people, with multiple events having up to 400–500 people in attendance! Why has it taken off so quickly? Because everyone watches women's sports and they want to watch together in community!
Watch Party PHL has a similar vibe to G-Room in many ways; they go to different venues around the city, they partner with different organizations (shout out to Working Families Party), they give a portion of their proceeds to different non-profits and community-based organizations…and most importantly, they are building a new and amazing community of women (and the boys/trans/non-binary folx they know).
That community is being built with intention. My sister — and her crew — go out of their way to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable. If you haven’t been to a Watch Party PHL event, check out their Instagram feed, and you will immediately feel the love. Watch Party PHL's goal initially was to show the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) and other professional women’s sports organizations that Philly can support a professional team. Specifically, that if you build it, they will come. More important now, though, is the focus on building a community of people who appreciate women’s sports.
Whether or not Philly will soon get a professional WNBA or NWSL team is unknown. What is known is that people in Philly want to watch these jawns together—and now they have a community for that and so much more.
